I was rearranging my home office and stumbled upon this letter that I actually wrote, dated in 1989. Wow, let’s hear it for longevity.
*******
Nymphomaniacs Anonymous
7399 Condom Drive
Hershey, PA 00873-9900
Dear __________:
We, at Nymphomaniacs Anonymous, would like to introduce our agency and offer our assistance to you. NA is a subsidiary of Nymphomaniacs International. Our service is to provide assistance to the lover, boyfriends, husbands and all other types of ‘partners’ of our clients. This is why we have contacted you. We would like to take this time to explain some things to you and see if there is any other way we can help you.
First, we sympathize with you. Sure, it is difficult to deal with a highly sexual woman at times. Yet, there are plenty of men who would love to have your problem; at lest you have a romantic sensuous, loving woman. There are worse things that could happen, agreed?
Secondly, we would like to offer our assistance in dealing with a nymph. There are ways to do this that would still insure your security in the relationship. All you need to do is fill out the enclosed membership form and we will send you a complimentary copy of our manual entitled “1001 Ways to Say No to a Nymph and Live to tell the Story”. This book will cover topics that include:
• Actually saying no without sounding like you’re rejecting
• Tactful ways to say, “I can’t go any further because my organs are raw”.
• Coping with performance anxiety
• Ways to spot a multiple orgasmic person
• How to tell your lover, “I want more . . . now”.
• And many other topics that will certainly afford you hours of great reading plus add that additional spark that will turn your flame into a forest fire
Thank you for your concern.
Sincerely yours,
Nancy Snatch
enclosures
(c)1989
*******
Nymphomaniacs Anonymous
7399 Condom Drive
Hershey, PA 00873-9900
Dear __________:
We, at Nymphomaniacs Anonymous, would like to introduce our agency and offer our assistance to you. NA is a subsidiary of Nymphomaniacs International. Our service is to provide assistance to the lover, boyfriends, husbands and all other types of ‘partners’ of our clients. This is why we have contacted you. We would like to take this time to explain some things to you and see if there is any other way we can help you.
First, we sympathize with you. Sure, it is difficult to deal with a highly sexual woman at times. Yet, there are plenty of men who would love to have your problem; at lest you have a romantic sensuous, loving woman. There are worse things that could happen, agreed?
Secondly, we would like to offer our assistance in dealing with a nymph. There are ways to do this that would still insure your security in the relationship. All you need to do is fill out the enclosed membership form and we will send you a complimentary copy of our manual entitled “1001 Ways to Say No to a Nymph and Live to tell the Story”. This book will cover topics that include:
• Actually saying no without sounding like you’re rejecting
• Tactful ways to say, “I can’t go any further because my organs are raw”.
• Coping with performance anxiety
• Ways to spot a multiple orgasmic person
• How to tell your lover, “I want more . . . now”.
• And many other topics that will certainly afford you hours of great reading plus add that additional spark that will turn your flame into a forest fire
Thank you for your concern.
Sincerely yours,
Nancy Snatch
enclosures
(c)1989
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